


Exploration

by awkquafina



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Lams - Freeform, M/M, alex gets distressed, herc like doesnt even care any more what, i almost died typing the words marvelous mouth omg, john gets pissy, possibly straight laf what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 23:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7552057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkquafina/pseuds/awkquafina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex has a friend who makes him question things he thought he knew about himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exploration

Alex Hamilton was not gay. Nope, not him. Not even a little bit. His incredible straightness did raise an interesting question though – why was he noticing John so much recently? It had started out as little things – the occasional thought of how he had nice lips, and how they seemed pretty soft. Sometimes, when watching John at the school that employed them, thoughts of his body would come into play, but that was fine – a heterosexual male can appreciate his bro’s body without it being gay. And hey, if said heterosexual male keeps waking up from dreams about him being pressed against said body, that’s cool too. John should be flattered by all of the appreciation of his body that Alex was doing (in a completely straight way, of course).  
Alex decided all of this as he stretched out on the couch of their shared apartment , his friends all asleep in their rooms, after waking up from another very arousing dream about one roommate in particular.  
“Do you ever wonder what it would be like to sleep with a guy?” Alex wondered aloud. He was allowed to do that – he trusted his friends, and this was definitely a topic four extremely heterosexual males could partake in and still be secure with their sexuality (just to clarify, that sexuality is heterosexual).  
“Alex, shut the fuck up,” Lafayette shouted in french from his room.  
“That wasn’t a no,” Alex pointed out, standing up, going around and flicking on all of the lights, including the ones in their rooms, despite the weak groans of protest from his room mates, all of whom were now awake.They had no choice but to come into the living room and comply with Alex so they could get back to sleep.   
“What are you doing?” Hercules demanded while John decided to go for the silent, grumpy glare.  
“We’re having a group discussion, I feel as though everyone should be awake for it,” Alex huffed, sitting on the sofa. “Sorry for being considerate.”  
“Alex, it’s great that you’re questioning your sexuality at last-” Hercules began.  
“Woah ho ho, who said anything about that. I’m just trying to have a conversation with my other heterosexual friends to try and get to know them better. Is that so bad?”  
“It is at four in the morning,” John grumbled, bringing his bedding much like the others had, eyes closed as he snuggled into the blanket. Alex took the opportunity to let his gaze wash over his face, taking in every detail and every freckle as if he hadn’t done this thousands of times since they first met. He was too focused on John, smiling slightly as he looked at him, to notice Laf and Herc sharing a look and an eye roll before telling him to turn of the lights and getting ready to sleep again.  
“But we haven’t discussed,” Alex complained.  
“If you’re so interested in fucking a guy, then go out and do it, don’t talk to us about it at this ungodly hour. Now turn off the lights and shut the fuck up,” John snapped, sounding unnecessarily angry. The room was silent for a few moments before the lights flicked off and Alex went and climbed into his bed, not attempting to draw anyone into conversation.  
It would just be an experiment, Alex thought, biting on his lip thoughtfully. It would practically be scientific. In fact, it would probably be worse if I didn’t do it. The world deserves the truth. With a satisfied noise at his decision, Alex allowed himself to fall into a dreamless sleep.  
School was out for the weekend, so Alex as free to look up the most popular local gay bars and plan his night. He decided against telling the others where he was going – they weren’t too fond of him after the previous night, and it wasn’t like they would go with him if they were.  
“I’m off!” he called out, waiting for a grunt in response before leaving the apartment. He had taken an embarrassingly long about of time deciding what to wear, and what to do with his hair. He ended up wearing the skinniest jeans he owned and a light blue polo that he might have stolen from one of his friends. He wasn’t even sure which one. After an irritable session with his mirror, he gave up on experimenting with his hair, which was now just a mess on his head. It didn’t look too bad though.  
After a long wait in line, he finally managed to get into the club. One look at the flashing lights, the mass amount of men, and the dance floor where they were grinding together made Alex have to convince himself not to bolt out of there. He headed straight to the bathroom – he needed a moment. Sure, he had been preparing himself for this for the majority of the day, but it all felt so real now. He, a very straight man, was in a gay bar, looking for a guy to sleep with.  
Alex stared at his reflection for a few minutes, just breathing in and out, trying to calm himself down enough to go back out.  
“Buddy, you are pretty hot, but calm down a bit. If you start hyperventilating because of it, it would be an embarrassing story for the hospital.”  
Alex spun around, not having heard someone come into the bathroom. “Someone’s gotta do it,” Alex said eventually.  
“Maybe someone would if you went to the place that people are,” mystery guy said, nodding towards the door.  
Alex had to figure out how to play this – he wanted someone to sleep with, and he thought mystery guy was pretty hot (in, y’know, a very straight way), with his dark skin and pretty brown eyes.  
“Does that mean no one in here is going to be checking me out?” Alex asked, and sure, it wasn’t one of his better lines. Mystery guys eyes flicked quickly up and down his body, before he met him in the eye.  
“That was terrible,” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards in the beginning of a smirk.  
“That’s not an answer,” Alex said boldly, stepping closer, his heart rate picking up. Mystery guy sighed, and pulled him in for a chaste kiss. It wasn’t nearly long enough for Alex to gage his own reaction to it.  
“Is that all you’ve got?” he asked with a smirk, before pulling him in for another kiss, not giving the guy a chance to answer. Alex immediately deepened the kiss, knowing full well how this part went. He’s been with enough girls to know how to seduce him with his marvelous mouth.  
Alex nibbled on the guys bottom lip, causing him to groan and allow Alex entrance into his mouth.  
The guy pulled back slightly, his hands on Alexander’s neck. “Let me buy you a drink,” he said, taking Alex’s hand and leading him out of the bathroom.  
“You don’t have to get me drunk to take advantage of me,” Alex purred, going along with him anyway.  
“You seem nervous,” the guy smirked. “I’m Tom, by the way.” Oh… that was a bit too familiar to be comfortable.  
“Alex,” he introduced as they took a seat near the bar, Tom going to get them some drinks. This went on for a while, the two of them getting steadily drunker until they were making out in the booth they were sitting out, only stopping when they were kicked out for practically humping in public.  
“How far away if your place?” Tom panted out when the two of them separated.  
“Doesn’t matter, I have roommates that won’t be pleased,” Alex said, not technically lying.  
“Mine it is,” Tom smirked, hailing a taxi and giving him the address.  
As it turns out, Alex may be slightly less straight than he thought.

When Alex woke up, he had no idea where he was, and no idea where the bathroom was, which was a much bigger problem, considering the hangover he was nursing. When he sat up with a much too loud groan, and arm smacked him in the chest and memories of the night before flooded back to him.  
“Shit,” he muttered, standing up and beginning to pull his clothes back on.  
“Leaving so soon?” the guy – Tom, Alex remembered – asked, sitting up.  
“I have work,” he lied, trying to find his shirt.  
“My name is Tom, by the way,” Tom told him, much to Alex’s confusion.  
“I know – you told me last night. Do you think I would forget so quickly?” Alex asked, mockingly offended.  
“Well I hoped not – it’s just that you kept calling me John while we were going at it. I assumed you had.” Alex was sure that he turned a horrible shade of red when he was told that.  
“Well, I was drunk. What can you do?” he asked nonchalantly as he found his shirt and pulled it on.  
“Right,” Tom said, an eyebrow raised like he didn’t believe him at all. Once Alex was fully dressed, he headed to the door, Tom following him.  
“Can I assume that I won’t be seeing you again?” he asked when they reached the door. Alex would’ve felt guilty if Tom had seemed at all saddened by the idea.  
“I don’t even live in New York – I’m just here for work,” Alex lied, and Tom nodded, but it didn’t stop him from seeing Alex off with a kiss.  
“I wouldn’t mind you stopping by, if you’re ever here for work again,” he said, giving Alex a smile before closing the door.  
Alex had to take a taxi back to their apartment, because he had no idea where in the city he was. As soon as he stepped into their home, mouth open to greet his friends, he was ambushed.  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” John yelled, not wasting any time to greet him.  
“I was gonna have a shower and get changed, is that allowed?” Alex asked with a raised eyebrow.  
“John, he doesn’t know,” Herc said, looking pointedly at Alex.  
“Know what?” Alex asked, looking at the three of them. Laf silently picked up his phone and tossed it to Alex. Open, was a blurry picture which was, despite the bad quality, unmistakably a picture of him and Tom, all over each other in the booth from the night before.  
“There’s more than that one,” Laf said quietly, and Alex flicked through the photos. They got steadily worse, the last two being Alex groping Tom, and the two of them getting into a taxi together. Alex swallowed nervously.  
“So what?” he asked flippantly, and John looked like he was ready to explode.  
“What the fuck do you mean so what? These are all over the internet. The kids from school have all seen them, they’re going crazy on Twitter, we haven’t even looked at Tumblr, and we’ve already had people disgusted by it. God, why are you so stupid? Can’t you see what this could do for us?”  
“You’re the one that told me to do it!” Alex snapped, referring to the late night conversation they had had.  
“Don’t try and pin this on me, Hamilton. You need to deal with everything that people are saying, and you need to talk to George about all of it.”  
Lafayette cleared their throat, getting their attention.  
“I don’t want to add onto the bad news, but apparently #Hamiltonlikesdick is a thing amongst the kids on twitter,” Alex couldn’t help but snort slightly at that – honestly, that was definitely something their students would do.  
“Fix it,” John seethed, and Alex rolled his eyes and opened his twitter, which was overflowing with messages from the kids. Alex knew he should put some sort of explanation, maybe lie a little, but John was being such a bitch that he couldn’t help but try and piss him off even more.  
Alexander Hamilton @AHamNY  
Haha, guess I can’t deny it anymore ; ) #Hamiltonlikesdick  
He tweeted it, feeling rather smug as John looked at his tweet.  
“Why are you doing this?” John asked tiredly.  
“Why are you being such a dick? I’ve had a moment of self-discovery and you’re acting like… you’re acting like some kind of homophobic ass.” But John couldn’t be… could he? Just the idea of John being homophobic made him feel like he was going to throw up. John didn’t even respond. He just left, and Hercules trailed after him. Alex went and took his shower, and lay in bed until they had a faculty meeting that evening. It was their worst faculty meeting in a while.  
Most people were taking it well, Alex conceded as he looked through some tweets. There were still a fair number of assholes who were complaining, which stung a little, and everyone was just assuming that he was gay, which he wasn’t. He wasn’t 100% sure what he was, but he definitely wasn’t gay.  
His phone started buzzing in his hand, and he looked to see that Eliza was calling him. Wonder what she wants to talk about.  
“Heeeyy,” Alex greeted as he answered the phone.  
“Why hello, my recently outed friend,” Eliza replied, to which Alex groaned. “How’s that going?”  
“Terribly. John is being a dick about it,” Alex said, loudly enough for everyone in the apartment to hear. Hercules sighed loudly, but there was no other reaction.  
“Was it the unplanned coming out, or the fact that you’re… whatever sexuality you are?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe a bit of both.”  
“Well, Peggy called it, and decided that it was obvious, Angelica had no idea, but who can blame her with how oblivious she was with Burr-”  
“Excuse me, what about Burr?” Alex interrupted.  
“Oh, not important, you’ll know at some point,” Eliza said breezily, so Alexander left it alone.  
“What do I do, Liza?” Alex suddenly asked, his voice more pained than he intended it to be.  
“About the John thing? about the whole coming out thing?”  
“Both.”  
“Okay, arrange something where you can talk about it and let everyone know about you. A lot of people are still confused, and some still think you’re joking.”  
“And the other thing?”  
“Talk to him, Alex. That’s all you can really do at this point.”  
“Fine,” Alex said dully.  
“I’ll see you soon, okay?”  
“Sure, see ya.” Alex sighed and hung up the phone. He decided to call George, their principal, immediately after, to take Eliza’s advice about the interview.  
“Took your sweet time to call me,” was the answer he got as soon as George picked up the phone.  
“I’m surprised that you haven’t called me.”  
“I decided to give you some time. Even though you were completely stupid, it wasn’t 100% your fault, and I wasn’t sure how you felt about the whole thing.” Alex smiled, touched (and slightly surprised) by George’s concern.  
“Well I’m fine with it. I was calling to see if you had any advice about me talking about it. So that the kids and other teachers know what’s going on, and they don’t need to keep speculating.”  
“Are you sure about this?”  
“Yeah – it’s the easiest way.”  
They talked for a while and decided that no, Alex didn’t want to interview with the LGBT club(maybe a bit later) – so Alexander decided that he would treat this the way he handled all if his problems. He would go on Twitter and just happen to drop the unanswered question in at some point. Alex decided to tell them he was bisexual.

The bomb was set for later that afternoon. Alex decided to talk to John before then. He didn’t want their entire apartment to be tense.  
“You two should leave,” he said to Lafayette and Hercules, who looked startled but complied, seeming to know why they were being sent off.  
“Don’t be stupid. You can’t be pissy at each other forever,” Laf muttered to him as he was leaving.  
Alex walked up to John’s room and pushed the door back. John was wanking. He closed the door again.  
“Oh my god!” John called out shrilly, and Alex thought that he must have the image of John, looking at him in shock with a hand wrapped loosely around his dick burned into his brain forever. “You could – you could fucking knock or something!”  
“Hurry up and finish – I need to talk to you,” Alex said impatiently, trying to act like he wasn’t affected by the experience.  
“I can’t finish with you right outside the door!” Alex nearly, very nearly offered to help, before remembering that he probably couldn’t do that anymore. That things wouldn’t be the same.  
“Then just put your pants back on and get out here,” Alex snapped, angered by his own thoughts. Alex heard a huff and shuffling coming from in the bunk, before John stepped out, looking disgruntled, still obviously hard (not that Alex looked, of course).  
“What?” John asked, as the two of them sat on the couch.  
“Laf said that we need to talk,” Alex said without really thinking about it.  
“Oh, are you fucking him as well?” Alex stared at him in shock.  
“Why are you acting like this?” Alex asked, actually feeling hurt. John winced and looked away.  
“I’m mad at you.” was the only response he got.  
“Why? For liking guys?”  
“I’m not homophobic – you know that.”  
“Then why are you acting it?”  
“I don’t know. What are you going to say on Twitter?”  
“I’m going to say the truth. I’m going to tell everyone I’m bisexual – and I was hoping that I’d be able to tell them that my best friend supports me – can I?” Alex asked. It didn’t come out harsh, like he had wanted it to. It can out utterly miserable. John must’ve picked up on that, because he pulled him into a (slightly awkward, to be honest) hug.  
“I realized I liked guys because I kept having wet dreams about you and I wanted them to stop because they were really annoying,” Alex blurted out, because hey, why not tell a guy you have dreamed about fucking him while hugging said guy who is also currently hard?  
John coughed slightly awkwardly. “Yeah, um, you’re not very quiet about those,” he said, and Alex, gaping, pulled away.  
“Are you serious? You knew?!”  
“So did Laf and Herc. They wear headphones to bed now.”  
“They do and you don’t?” Alex asked suggestively, making John flush red. “Why would that be?”  
“I assume they don’t get off to it as much as I do,” John admitted, and Alex, unable to help it, laughed.  
“I hope that they don’t,” Alex said, before realizing what had just been said. Was John attracted to him too? He found himself losing control of all inhibitions, and yanked John forward into an enthusiastic kiss. John didn’t pull away, surprising Alex, but he went along with it and they both settled into the kiss. After a rather long make out session on the too-small couch, John grinned and muttered, “This is honestly pretty great.”  
“I know. Now we can get #Laurenslikesdicktoo trending,” Alex said. John punched his arm and kissed him again. Alex leaned back.  
“Uhm, John?” Alex asked.  
“Is this a thing? Like, us? Are we…” Alex trailed off, scared of what John would say.  
“Alex, we can be anything you want us to be.” Alex didn’t hesitate to lean forward back onto John’s lips.

 

 

“This group really does have a thing for accidentally coming out,” Laf sighed, wrinkling his nose at the picture that was being spread around. It was seven months since John and Alex had gotten together, and had managed to keep it a secret until this day.  
“I can’t believe that that was the picture that’s being spread,” Alex said sulkily. The said picture was Alex being pinned to his chalkboard, his and John’s bodies flush as John bit and kissed at Alex’s neck.  
“Get over it – it could have been worse,” John said.  
“I can’t – I need the kids to know that I usually top,” Jack whined, and Laf choked on his toast.  
“Jesus fucking Christ, I didn’t need to know that,” Herc muttered as Alex rolled his eyes and Jack grinned up at him.  
He was so happy.  
John’s Bae @AHamNY  
I’m sure you have all seen the photo, and frankly, I’m disgusted at the response. I top, thank you very much! #Johnismybottombitch

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey please let me know what you think of this! I'm still trying to figure out my writing style so please be patient with me as I try and figure it out. Please leave a comment so I can know whats good and whats not. Thankies for reading!


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